Written by Emily Tasker
Photo by Abby Johnson
High school, a magical place where the smallest mistakes result in punishment. Where the person you like, doesn’t always like you back. High school; a place where memories are made and hearts are broken one too many times. So, knowing that they will never in a million years read this; this is for the boys who have changed me into who I am today.
The first boy I stumbled across in the early days of year 7 came at a time when I didn’t even really understand what a “crush” was. He was taller than me (thankgod), had dark brown hair that swooped to one side and a lil squishy face that I loved. See, the thing here is that, while I liked him over the course of a good 6 months, he liked my best friend and dated her which yes, made a little piece of me crack inside- tragic I know. Come our year 8 camp, we’d kind of fallen apart as friends over time and didn’t really speak much. I remember this so vividly, it was our first night there, I felt like shit already, I asked him for a hug and it was a pathetic one armed 0.6 second hug. Then came one of my friends and he gave her the biggest, most heart-felt, tight hug I’ve ever seen right in front of me and to this day, I still remember how something so little, so unintentionally cruel made me feel. To this day, I still remember how much I cried that night. I still think that was the first time my heart actually broke a little bit. To this day, we don’t speak and honestly, I think it was for the better. So, here’s to you, Harry and thankyou, for teaching me that it really is the little things that matter in life.
Sharp jawline, light brown hair with bits of blonde striping through it; a look in his eye that made little year 7 me curious as to what more there could be to learn about him. This was my first impression of the second boy to enter in 2015- after all the other drama earlier in the year. We became close quite quickly and just stuck to each other like glue for quite some time. He made me happy. Long story short, things didn’t turn out well and by late year 8, I’d pushed him away further then I intended to. Until he went to America for a month and I realized how much I needed him in my life. I swear, I have never hugged someone so passionately after not seeing them for so long. He taught me what it meant to not push people away, to keep as many people as I can in my life because a lot of the time, as they say, you don’t realize what you have until its gone. Come present day, I still have his jumper, the one with the paint on the left sleeve and that still smells like him. I get a tightly wrapped hug almost every day and a shoulder to cry on when I need it most. Luka, I can’t thankyou enough. I think the world of you.
This next boy, I could write about for hours. Create a 2,000 word piece just on him- but I won’t. The first two boys to be mentioned in this piece, I never actually dated. You on the other hand, we created an epic story to tell over the course of about 8 months. I won’t go into detail because I’m not kidding, I could write until my hands gave in. It was you who was the first boy I have ever really loved- been able to say the words “I love you” and mean it. I can’t thankyou enough for being so patient and gentle with me until the very end. In my mind, you will always remain the boy I fell for in a dusty old woodwork room, when the sun hit your glasses at just the right time, making your eyes look like wonders. The boy with the dark hair where curls arose when it got too long, the toned, intimidating figure who’s hugs felt like home, who’s voice would now drive me to tears. You made everything in my life so much better at a time I was sure nothing was ever going to be good again and through it all, through the good times and the bad, the arguments and the laughter, I think it’s safe to say that you and I both know if you called me at 2am I would still pick up, if you needed somewhere to stay, I would still offer and Michael, if you showed up on my doorstep a year from now in the middle of the night; I would still let you in. Thank you.
Come present day, to the one I can happily call my boyfriend, who I came across through a close friend of mine. Causing controversy on the way of course but I guess it’s one of the only things I’m good at :). All jokes aside, I have him, I can call him mine and I’m glad I can. The boy I met through a late night decision, merely a stranger to me, has now become a part of my life in a way I never thought he would. He’s opened my eyes to so many different and new things, my head is clearer and that anxiety prone, Nutella-eating girl is a lot less anxiety prone then she was before meeting him. Curtis, my love, you really are a wonder to this world.
So there you have it, the 4 boys that have shaped me into who I am this very day. I’m always going to remember how it felt the first time my heart broke, just as I remember how it felt the most recent time it broke. I’ll always remember how many times I’ve cried over the little things you unintentionally did wrong and I’ll always know to be cautious when getting into something. But I’m not taking all the bad with me, yes, I’ll always remember the downs, but, I’ll never forget the good that came of all this. I’ll never forget the way I felt when they hugged me, the adrenaline that came of roaming the streets of Bentleigh at all hours of the morning, cuddles in the mid afternoon when it was pouring outside, the way his fingers danced over my skin and his lips pressed to my forehead. Each one of these 4 boys has made an impact in some way or another and for that I am grateful. For whatever we went through, from the deepest parts of me; thank you.
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