Photograph from Chella Man
“Good afternoon, miss”
“A young lady like you…”
“Let me take you and your daughter this way, ma’am”
When I was little, the term transgender meant very little to me. If anything, it was a joke. I was brought up to think transgender people (especially trans women!) we’re just crossdressers. I’m ashamed to say this but with the free use of the t-word (tr*nny) in my home and the countless use of transgender individuals as punchlines in shows really distorted my view. So I never thought too much about it. In my childlike mind, the thought process was something like: I’m not a guy that wants to dress like a woman. Trans people aren’t important to my life.
I didn’t know there were trans men until I was at least twelve. Even then, I didn’t pay too much attention.
Some of the following text is from the Gender Wiki (gender.wikia.com).
Non-binary describes any gender identity which does not fit the male and female binary. Non-binary people may also identify as transgender. Some people choose different terms such as gender-fluid and genderqueer (be careful about using this one generally, as queer can be considered a transphobic slur).
From the moment I learned about being non-binary, I related to the idea of discomfort that came with being seen as a female. I’m sad to admit that for a long time I suppressed these feelings, because I didn’t think people would believe me. It would be so much easier to just be a woman. I first came out to a group of close friends via a private Instagram account. Everyone was very supportive and I’m so privileged to have that support. With my parents, it isn’t like that. I’m not trying to put words in their mouths, but from the comments and remarks they’ve made about transgender individuals and really, LGBT+ people in general, have me terrified to ever have to explain to them how I feel.
As I said before, there is no right or wrong way to be trans. For me, my identity is presenting masculine. It’s being unapologetic and loud, it’s having a lower voice, it’s sometimes binding my breasts, sometimes not. It is they/them pronouns. It is piercings, it is (in the future) tattoos, it is confidence. It is what are typically seen as “male mannerisms”, ways of walking, talking, laughing, sitting, standing. It is my freshly bleached blonde hair with my roots visibly growing out. It is my freckles and the veins on my arms and the slight lift of an eyebrow and the crinkle that it forms on my forehead.
It’s freedom.
Personally, I’m still questioning my gender a lot but for now I identify as non-binary and that’s completely okay! There is no right or wrong way to be trans. There is no right or wrong way to have a gender, or to not have one. It is totally acceptable and also common(!) to first identify as non-binary and then realising you are a binary trans person. It’s also okay to first identify as a binary trans woman or man and later realise you are non-binary. Exploring your gender does not harm anyone.
Post a Comment